So, I've been thinking a lot about people since I've been here. People I've known, people I've care for...people that have shared major times in my life.
And it's amazing to me how quickly people move on. Not because of mean spirits or disdain, but rather, because I think we are built to eliminate people from our lives much like closing chapters in a book. As I write this, I wonder how people will feel...Unsettled? Antagonized? Agreeable?
I know that I will not be here a long time, and I will soon become a fading memory to most. It has been a concept that I am still trying to understand how one internalizes. It is a humbling feeling to know, absolutely know, how finite and small you are in the grand scheme of the world. If I am not remembered while alive...if my existence on this planet is that insignificant, then how fast will I disappear when I am completely gone?
The reality is that none of us will be remembered very long...maybe 100 years if we are very lucky. Instead of a legacy, the only thing that truly matters is what you do today...for yourself. I must grow, I must learn, I must undertand my world, I must appreciate it...I must appreciate every single second I have...cherish it, because soon, it will all be over. My fear is not that I will be forgotten. It's that there will be nothing to forget.
I don't cry enough these days. I don't get giddy about much. I am happy, but sometimes I wonder if this lack of range in emotion, this level of vanilla, is helpful. Because without sorrow, there cannot be joy. Without pain, there cannot be pleasure. I do not want to forget sorrow or pain, because I fear that my gluttony will overwhelm me and I will forget how to feel sympathy. To be removed from pain is to disconnect yourself from those who are in it...and the human experience requires empathy for others. I do not want to lose touch with the human experience, but I often feel I am losing my grip on it.
There is no crime here...there is no violence...there is no poverty...there is no visible racism...I am learning to cope with what is as close to a utopic society as humans perhaps will ever devise. The only problem now is I'm not sure utopia can exist in any form...we need the horrors to enjoy the harmony.
Monday, October 29, 2007
"Transformations"
Well, it's been 12 days since my last blog, and I feel almost guilty by my procrastination in getting back to everyone. It's amazing how many people from the States I think about every single day. It's as if I catch a glimpse of someone and have a whole conversation in my head again with that person...or I relive a memory...maybe I even make a new one...
My life here in Singapore has been an unimaginable one. From the food I eat, to the bus I take to work, to the people I've met, it is still hard for me to believe everything in this transition could be so easy. I remember before I left, I told many people that I was following something big that resided deep in my soul. I "followed the signs" assuming that some sort of higher power was directing me here and would reward me when I arrived. Well, I don't know what reward I was expecting, but knowing that there is a huge grin on my face is probably the best I could ever do. Life is meant to be this simple. It is a level of contentment I have always lusted for. Perhaps I will die soon, but if so, my life will not have been in waste.
Since I've been here, I've done many things: A fashion show, a Black Eyed Peas concert, joined a basketball league, saw a live Asian band cover Linkin Park, and, oh well, visited Krabi, the Thai beach community where the movie "The Beach" was filmed. Also hit up many of the night spots here, including "Clark Quay", which is very cool. (Look it up).
I met up with a guy from Warren, of all places, and he introduced me to his buddies. Strange, but they are all 28 years old (like me), single, and feverishly obsessed with the movie "American Pyscho." In fact, they can quote almost every line in the movie, which I though only I could do. They were the ones that invited me to Thailand. They told me I'm never going back to the States. They've been here each for 2-3 years already.
I also secured my new apartment, which I will move into in November. I live on the 9th floor of a condo overlooking the beach. Two full gyms, basketball, tennis, a huge pool, a bar, and several delicious seafood places within walking distance. I plan to buy another scooter soon so I can cruise up and down the beach after work to unwind.
Life is good here. I do miss people, and I'm sure it will get worse. More to come on that soon.
My life here in Singapore has been an unimaginable one. From the food I eat, to the bus I take to work, to the people I've met, it is still hard for me to believe everything in this transition could be so easy. I remember before I left, I told many people that I was following something big that resided deep in my soul. I "followed the signs" assuming that some sort of higher power was directing me here and would reward me when I arrived. Well, I don't know what reward I was expecting, but knowing that there is a huge grin on my face is probably the best I could ever do. Life is meant to be this simple. It is a level of contentment I have always lusted for. Perhaps I will die soon, but if so, my life will not have been in waste.
Since I've been here, I've done many things: A fashion show, a Black Eyed Peas concert, joined a basketball league, saw a live Asian band cover Linkin Park, and, oh well, visited Krabi, the Thai beach community where the movie "The Beach" was filmed. Also hit up many of the night spots here, including "Clark Quay", which is very cool. (Look it up).
I met up with a guy from Warren, of all places, and he introduced me to his buddies. Strange, but they are all 28 years old (like me), single, and feverishly obsessed with the movie "American Pyscho." In fact, they can quote almost every line in the movie, which I though only I could do. They were the ones that invited me to Thailand. They told me I'm never going back to the States. They've been here each for 2-3 years already.
I also secured my new apartment, which I will move into in November. I live on the 9th floor of a condo overlooking the beach. Two full gyms, basketball, tennis, a huge pool, a bar, and several delicious seafood places within walking distance. I plan to buy another scooter soon so I can cruise up and down the beach after work to unwind.
Life is good here. I do miss people, and I'm sure it will get worse. More to come on that soon.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
“Crossing Into a New Life”
I left last night at 9pm for a new adventure. It was surreal in many regards, from the fact that I sat a row away from Deuce Bigalow (Rob Sneider) on my way to L.A., to the mad sprint through the Taipei airport, only to see that they actually held the plane doors open an extra five minutes for me.
The trip so far has been one hoop to jump through after another. It started with checked baggage issues in Minneapolis. After convincing them not to charge me $150 for a third bag, I was in the plane and on my way. I looked out the jet’s window at what was…years of fun in Minneapolis! Hundreds of parties, quiet movie nights, basketball games, and “guys’ nights out” have brought me to this. The realism that I was off to live across the world hit me with an overwhelming sense of awe.
As I deboarded the plane, I found myself walking next to none other than Rob Sneider. I thought about doing a cheesy impression of a Middle-Eastern pizza delivery guy, but then, I figured I shouldn’t be "that guy" to this disgruntled-looking comedian.
1:15am and I was still sitting at the terminal in LA waiting to get on my China Airline flight over to Taipei. First class on an Asian airline is actually quite unbelievable. The flight attendants cater to your every need, and the food is actually really good! Safely abroad, I proceeded to crash out for 8 hours, watch the new Die Hard for a couple more, and finally, I figured out that there was actually SuperNintendo games on the TV monitor. I tore up StreetFighter II, but I never actually was able to beat the last guy (what’s his name?).
6:40am and I land in Taipei. My flight to Singapore leaves at 7:10am. I need to de-board, get my ticket, and get to the gate…I didn’t, but luckily, someone from Singapore Air found me and raced me, literally running, through the Terminal. I don’t remember what the airport looks like, but they held the gate until 7:15am. Now aboard the plane, it is the most amazing plane I have ever been on. Everything people told me about Singapore seem to be true at this point. The plane is elegant and modern, with all leather seats, on-plane electric outlets, and attendant service that cannot even be described it’s so good.
Only one problem…I don’t know if my luggage raced to the cargo for this plane. I guess I’ll find out when I land!
...and here I am...the luggage didn't make it initially. For my troubles, they gave me S$150 at the airport and said they'd deliver my luggage when they found it. Four hours later, it arrived at my apartment door. Now isn't that irony...they wanted to charge me $150, didn't do it, and ended up GIVING me $150 and door-delivery service! Ha, that's amazing!
More to come...
Evan
Evan
The trip so far has been one hoop to jump through after another. It started with checked baggage issues in Minneapolis. After convincing them not to charge me $150 for a third bag, I was in the plane and on my way. I looked out the jet’s window at what was…years of fun in Minneapolis! Hundreds of parties, quiet movie nights, basketball games, and “guys’ nights out” have brought me to this. The realism that I was off to live across the world hit me with an overwhelming sense of awe.
As I deboarded the plane, I found myself walking next to none other than Rob Sneider. I thought about doing a cheesy impression of a Middle-Eastern pizza delivery guy, but then, I figured I shouldn’t be "that guy" to this disgruntled-looking comedian.
1:15am and I was still sitting at the terminal in LA waiting to get on my China Airline flight over to Taipei. First class on an Asian airline is actually quite unbelievable. The flight attendants cater to your every need, and the food is actually really good! Safely abroad, I proceeded to crash out for 8 hours, watch the new Die Hard for a couple more, and finally, I figured out that there was actually SuperNintendo games on the TV monitor. I tore up StreetFighter II, but I never actually was able to beat the last guy (what’s his name?).
6:40am and I land in Taipei. My flight to Singapore leaves at 7:10am. I need to de-board, get my ticket, and get to the gate…I didn’t, but luckily, someone from Singapore Air found me and raced me, literally running, through the Terminal. I don’t remember what the airport looks like, but they held the gate until 7:15am. Now aboard the plane, it is the most amazing plane I have ever been on. Everything people told me about Singapore seem to be true at this point. The plane is elegant and modern, with all leather seats, on-plane electric outlets, and attendant service that cannot even be described it’s so good.
Only one problem…I don’t know if my luggage raced to the cargo for this plane. I guess I’ll find out when I land!
...and here I am...the luggage didn't make it initially. For my troubles, they gave me S$150 at the airport and said they'd deliver my luggage when they found it. Four hours later, it arrived at my apartment door. Now isn't that irony...they wanted to charge me $150, didn't do it, and ended up GIVING me $150 and door-delivery service! Ha, that's amazing!
More to come...
Evan
Evan
“The Value of Friendship”
I am currently sitting on a plane en route to Singapore via Taipei, Taiwan, and I felt it necessary to right a blog to my friends. More specifically, the value I place in the friendships that I have had the great fortune of forging in my life. It is impossible to think that any of my actions and/or decisions have been made in isolation of these people.
I want to thank all of my friends for being such a great source of inspiration in my life. Each person I have known has played an instrumental role in where I am. Certainly many, if not everyone, cherishes their closest friendships, so it is not as if I am reinventing the wheel. However, I do believe what I have in my relationships is beyond the norm.
In a state that isn’t the center of the universe for diversity (MN is 90% white, primarily Christian!), I have been fortunate enough to have friends from any walk of life, albeit race, religion, culture, or way of life. All of you have added invaluable perspectives and opinions, sometimes without even knowing what type of influence you have on me. I have learned about all of you and have related to you in a way that has helped me understand and evolve my own personal beliefs and perspectives.
Unfortunately, not all friendships last forever, at least not in their most intense state. Friendships are often transitional in nature. For example, think about all of those great friends you had in college that you swore you’d be “BFF’s” with. How many of them do you still talk to you daily/weekly? How many of them are loose contacts that you now speak with occasionally/monthly/yearly? It is true that most friendships tend to dissipate over time, but that isn’t to say that they haven’t provided meaning. Every person we meet and friendship we forge provides meaning to help us continually evolve and move through our life’s path. We never know when the lesson we have learned from someone will bear its fruits, but at some point, the truth will become clear to us.
Yes, I have now left Minneapolis. Yes, it is likely that I will not see many of you for years, perhaps ever again. I would be lying if I said I was sad about this, because I am not. Our paths crossed for a reason, and I feel great joy in knowing that. And if it is meant to be, we will certainly cross paths again.
I would not be what I am if not for all of you. ALL OF YOU. I want to say thank you. Thank you for all the influence you have had…for the lessons you have taught me…for helping me understand my path further.
Best regards to all-
Evan
I want to thank all of my friends for being such a great source of inspiration in my life. Each person I have known has played an instrumental role in where I am. Certainly many, if not everyone, cherishes their closest friendships, so it is not as if I am reinventing the wheel. However, I do believe what I have in my relationships is beyond the norm.
In a state that isn’t the center of the universe for diversity (MN is 90% white, primarily Christian!), I have been fortunate enough to have friends from any walk of life, albeit race, religion, culture, or way of life. All of you have added invaluable perspectives and opinions, sometimes without even knowing what type of influence you have on me. I have learned about all of you and have related to you in a way that has helped me understand and evolve my own personal beliefs and perspectives.
Unfortunately, not all friendships last forever, at least not in their most intense state. Friendships are often transitional in nature. For example, think about all of those great friends you had in college that you swore you’d be “BFF’s” with. How many of them do you still talk to you daily/weekly? How many of them are loose contacts that you now speak with occasionally/monthly/yearly? It is true that most friendships tend to dissipate over time, but that isn’t to say that they haven’t provided meaning. Every person we meet and friendship we forge provides meaning to help us continually evolve and move through our life’s path. We never know when the lesson we have learned from someone will bear its fruits, but at some point, the truth will become clear to us.
Yes, I have now left Minneapolis. Yes, it is likely that I will not see many of you for years, perhaps ever again. I would be lying if I said I was sad about this, because I am not. Our paths crossed for a reason, and I feel great joy in knowing that. And if it is meant to be, we will certainly cross paths again.
I would not be what I am if not for all of you. ALL OF YOU. I want to say thank you. Thank you for all the influence you have had…for the lessons you have taught me…for helping me understand my path further.
Best regards to all-
Evan
Monday, October 8, 2007
"The First Day of My New Job"
Today was my first day at Kraft. A week of orientation in Chicago before I make the big leap to my new place of residence in Singapore. I can't say I was completely surpised by the melodramatic feeling I had as I entered the building. The feeling was one of solemn existence, an unassuming culture without pretense or pride. The company has fallen on hard times recently and has struggled to meet earnings over its short corporate lifespan. I say "short" because it was the year 2001 when incorporation actually commenced for the company that had long been a wholly owned subsidiary of a big cigarette company called Altria (aka Philip Morris). The price then: $34. The price now: $34.
I was not surprised on my first day to arrive to a place where I had been all but forgotten. The admin tasked with collecting me from the front entrance didn't show up and pawned me off to someone else because he forgot. There was no workstation prepared for me. It was as uneventful an entrance as my exit from my previous employer. It was a stark reminder of the profession I have chosen...a corporate shell is never a place to seek love, friendship, or for that matter, a smile. Anything more than focusing energy on improving the bottom line is futile and unnecessary.
I finally got set up with my computer and desk, but no formal orientation or introduction to the company. Total # of HR reps I saw today -- ZERO. There is very little personal conversation at Kraft. People tend to stay in their cubes. There are more closed doors than I remember at Mills. There is an air of focus that I can appreciate, as it is the aftermath of the liberation of this sleeping giant from an organization whose sole existence depended on the deaths of millions of ignorant people.
I can only say that today solidified the reality that the challenges are immeasurable. This will truly be a test of my inner strength and personal perseverence. However, there is nothing in this world that is more powerful than a person's vigor to follow a dream. And in terms of my job, I KNOW, absolutely KNOW, that the stock price of Kraft when I leave the company will be much higher than $34.
Courage. Candor. Action.
I was not surprised on my first day to arrive to a place where I had been all but forgotten. The admin tasked with collecting me from the front entrance didn't show up and pawned me off to someone else because he forgot. There was no workstation prepared for me. It was as uneventful an entrance as my exit from my previous employer. It was a stark reminder of the profession I have chosen...a corporate shell is never a place to seek love, friendship, or for that matter, a smile. Anything more than focusing energy on improving the bottom line is futile and unnecessary.
I finally got set up with my computer and desk, but no formal orientation or introduction to the company. Total # of HR reps I saw today -- ZERO. There is very little personal conversation at Kraft. People tend to stay in their cubes. There are more closed doors than I remember at Mills. There is an air of focus that I can appreciate, as it is the aftermath of the liberation of this sleeping giant from an organization whose sole existence depended on the deaths of millions of ignorant people.
I can only say that today solidified the reality that the challenges are immeasurable. This will truly be a test of my inner strength and personal perseverence. However, there is nothing in this world that is more powerful than a person's vigor to follow a dream. And in terms of my job, I KNOW, absolutely KNOW, that the stock price of Kraft when I leave the company will be much higher than $34.
Courage. Candor. Action.
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