Evan's Drama

And now, another anti-establishment movement to derail the US-->Occupy Wall Street

2011-11-15T02:18:00.000-08:00

I'm getting really tired of this movement, "Occupy Wall Street". Now this annoying group of self-righteous hippies is trying to spread their germs across the country, causing disruptions, endangering lives, and creating the type of chaos they are claiming to avoid.

Let's be clear. The "Occupy" movement claims to be a leaderless faction of people who are rising up against the injustice created by the wealthiest 1% of the world. They claim to be a non-violent, politically--free, and again, "leaderless" group. They are less concerned with egos and more about the cause.

An excerpt from an article I just read about "Occupy Oakland".

"But there was an uneasy edge at Occupy Oakland, too. Young men with black face-masks, a symbol of support for the disruptive “black bloc” faction that’s been behind most of the destruction, roamed the park on bicycles and on foot. I saw a lot of homeless people, some apparently struggling with drug or alcohol or mental health issues. I witnessed two fights involving the same emaciated woman in a hot pink sweat shirt. First she swung a crutch (not her own) at another occupier and missed before being subdued; later she got in a furious shouting match with another woman, but a few men separated them before they came to blows. Then they let the woman go, and she slipped back into the crowd again.

In Oakland, as in other cities, the camps have become magnets for the symptoms of the social injustice they’re protesting: homelessness, drugs, mental illness and crime. Dreamers and do-gooders in the groups genuinely believe the movement has to help society’s victims as it tries to change the world.

Now, I am not in the 1% of the population that has all the wealth. I don't bitch and moan about the situation, either because a) I'm a defeated person b) I am in the top 25% and live comfortably c) I have other things to do with my time.

These organizations annoy me. The distortion of wealth is an unfortunate side-effect of being a human being. We are greedy by our nature and despite all our ethical values (or assumed ones), we cannot escape the fact that we are at the top of the food chain and yet we still kill each other to get higher. POWER is an innate human desire and is unavoidable.

If you really want to create change and improve your life, then strive to be in the top 1%. Have ambition or at least get a job and quick raping people in social movements (Yes, people are being raped in these movements.). You hate a system that gives you the right to protest. In many countries, that is gone. Too much chaos causes unorganized, unthoughtful discourse which derails any movment forward at all.

May all the tear gas hit you directly in the face. May all the rubber bullets hit you straight in your testicles. May the police force push you back to the dumpster where you can drink another $2 bottle of vodka and complain that the world owes you something.

How Shoes View Women by Evan Williams

2010-10-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

The last two months have been unbearable. All I think about is her and all I want to do is be with her every moment. I want to spend each day with her and I want to feel wanted again. She doesn't want me anymore. She's moved on, yet she won't let me go. The problem is if she keeps me much longer, then no one will want me. I will be too old, beat up, used...people will find something new and fresh...I am worthless.

It wasn't always like this between us. I remember the first time we saw each other. She just gazed at me, but it was just a gaze. She loved me then. She needed to have me. I could see how much she wanted me...how much she needed me. It was like standing on a double-rainbow that never ends. She has always been impulsive, especially when it comes to my kind. She sees what she wants, and she gets it. Not me though, I was special. The first time, we just looked at each other. I didn't know if I would ever see her again. A week later, she appeared again. This time, I tried to make myself more visible. The light glimmered off my elegance and I knew tonight was the tonight.

I went home with her. It was the most amazing Saturday night I have ever had. We were together every moment that night. We danced the night away with friends and we were...inseparable. Hours felt like minutes. Minutes felt like seconds. It was our first time together, but for that night, we both knew it was meant to be forever. We went home that night. We made our way to the bedroom and she laid me down so softly. She smiled for a moment as she caressed me and gave me a luck of appreciation and assurance. After that, the night ended.

Something changed the next day. She ignored me. She just pushed me away, as if I didn't exist to her. I didn't do anything wrong, yet I felt so inadequate. We have been living together now, yet she never looks at me. She has a lot more friends now. I can tell she likes them more than me. She is promiscuous...a different pair of friends every weekend to go out with. It hurts. And sometimes, I am beside myself, alone in the dark, and feel irrelevant.

She has looked at me a couple of times, but is always dismissive, choosing her new friends over me. I was just a fad to her, a one-night stand, something of the past.

I know I have lost her. Last week, she had a girlfriend over. They were both hysterical about this new place they found, where everyone there was cheap and easy to get. They were frantic. Giggling, laughing, and comparing notes on who they'll get next time. They use us. We are only good for a short time, then it is on to the next.

She is gone forever and I am alone. My life is almost over. Soon, I will perish and never be remembered. I wish I would have never met her, but I'm sure any other woman would have treated me the same way.

Really Lame and Corny Thought

2010-08-29T05:26:00.000-07:00

I have always been fascinated by the idea that humans will someday have abnormal abilities beyond what our current stage in evolution allows us. As a child, my inspiration came from Sunday comics on TV such as X-men, where humans had evolved to be able to do such things such as read minds, regenerate quickly, control weather systems, and shoot lasers from their eyes (although the last one really didn't impress me). Someone once said to me that if you can imagine it, then it is bound to happen (or is that from Star Trek). Who knows, maybe there are already people on Earth that have leaped ahead of the human race, as the rest of us struggle to differentiate ourselves from the orangutans from which we came.

I became obsessed with the idea of what I would choose if I was able to have one of these given abilities. The earliest idea I had would be not to control people's minds, but rather, read them. The ability to see what people are thinking, especially as it pertains to how they are thinking about you, would be invaluable. Persuasion of the mind is much more powerful than persuasion of the physical, and by understanding what others are thinking, you could ulitmately alter your own behavior to elicit whatever result you want and then monitor the reaction.

I have seen people that have great skill in this area already. They are not mind readers, nor do they exhibit truly super human ability, but nonetheless, those people with high "EQ" tend to succeed greatly where mental prediction is critical: Business, politics, etc. It's too bad medical professionals don't have this skill--they would probably do a better job working with patients!

I've come to realize that reading other's thoughts is NOT a super power I would want. Rather, I have decided that the only super power I would like to have is the inability to care what others are thinking about me at all. Of course, this isn't to say I don't care about what people think, but I find that too often in life we pay attention closely to the way others perceive us. It is exemplified by our need for attention, our obsession with image and materialism, and our unending need to impress others.

I have met great people that "don't give a f*ck", but often times, it comes across as negative and selfish. Other times, it so characterizes the person so much that they are either ineffective in life. What I'm talking about is different. Creativity, idea generation, and a healthy level of risk-taking requires the person to diverge from the norm and acceptable. This is what makes us move forward. Vision comes from having an idea, then nurturing the idea despite the criticism and doubt the world throws at us.

Sequencing of Events

2010-06-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

Everything should have a purpose. I've been thinking about all that I do and the objectives behind it, and lately, I've been trying to figure out how all these things fit together. What am I really trying to achieve in life? How do my actions fit together to ultimately get me where I want to go? And how will I know when I've come to this "Nirvana" in my life?

There was once this fellow named Maslow and he made this triangle looking thing and it had different needs. At the bottom were the basics...food, safety, etc...BUT...are these REALLY the basics? Take for example of these these "basic" needs--sex. Isn't that a major driver of a significant amount of human activity? I guess what he meant was that "sex" was really about reproduction. So, reproduction becomes a key motivator, which is true. Aw shit, now I have to back up further...

We work. I work. The rat race is on and everyone is trying to claw their way to the top. Why? What do you we achieve by this? Do we actually do what we want? Are we what we always said we "wanted to be when we grow up?" Probably not for most people...I can't imagine a kid saying he/she wants to grow up to manage money (bankers) or become an Analytics Manager for Kraft Foods (me). So, therefore, we work at these jobs for other reasons--like money. Money is a key driver of many people's career paths, and the more they get, the more they want. I know some very rich people that theoretically have enough money for all their basic necessities, yet they are continually driven by the task of making more.

Money has this strange relationship with sex (and hence, reproduction). Yes, there is the simple equation of paying money for sex, but that's not what I'm eluding to here. Rather, it is a two-step process, and often involves what Singaporean women would call "the 5 C's". They are Condo, Car, Cash, Credit Cards, and Country Club Membership. Pay for these, and you are all on your way to separating your ugly self from the rest. I was on a tour in Africa, and the guide was describing how a particular animal, the Impala, actually mates. In this case, the biggest, strongest male gets to mate with all of the females...are his choice. The other males, labeled as "losers", are sent out to graze for life with other weak Impalas and probably will never have the chance to have the pleasures of a female. Like Impalas, we use money to separate ourselves from the pack, avoid being a loser, and maybe have the opportunity to reproduce!

So, money, as a primary driver, gets people to a basic need (sex). So now what? I do many things in life that are outside the realm of money. Travel, boxing, bungee jumping, basketball and partying are among my favorite activities. So if not for money, what is the point? Yes, thematically these things often lead me step closer to moving up Maslow's ladder, but where does it all lead to? Experiences can be had not to satisfy basic needs, but why do they leave me yearning for more?

So my observation is this. Psychologically, these events have a certain way of deductively getting me to a basic need--reproduction. By accomplishing many of these wild dreams now, I essentially "check the box" and bring myself mentally one step closer to settling down. I believe they call this "sowing your wild oats".

I have sowed and sowed and sowed. I think now I finally feel like I can reproduce. The precursors to it (money, etc.) seem to be there, so as long as I keep my main goal in mind, then the world loses part of its complexity. The constant greed I see around me seems absurd, but I suppose not everyone asks themselves what is the point of having so much.

Hmmm...here's a thought. Maybe having all that shit makes people feel like they have entered self-actualization. Well, then theoretically the US would have a lot of self-actualizers...too bad they don't rank among the happiest cultures (we are #23 actually).

See this article about the "Happiest Countries" published by Newsweek

Happy Countries

This may be the most dull blog I've ever written. I'm literally almost falling asleep as I re-read this awful masterpiece of shit. And for that reason, I'm going to abruptly stop it. Maybe something more thoughtful will come out next time.

Imperfection is Beautiful

2009-11-16T05:40:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy the flaws in people. I'm not sure why, but the fact that we are inherently flawed as creatures of God is a bit amusing to me. It's amusing because we try so hard to avoid it. If we could observe ourselves from an outsider's view, we'd probably notice all our over-compensating behavior, misguided beliefs, and subconscious mannerisms. We'd laugh at how hard we try and fail. The question I ask myself from a more spiritual view is, "Why would God, who made us in His light, create us to be so imperfect, so ridiculously clueless about what life means?" I mean, most people on the planet go their entire life without a purpose. I've never met anyone that actually knows how to grieve properly (or at least help someone that is.). It's as if we are created to struggle in our own awkwardness.

The strangest part of imperfection is that while we try so fucking hard to avoid it, at the end of the day, it's what we prefer. So many obvious examples...George Bush was elected twice not because people thought he was a genius...it was because he was simple and relateable and people liked that. They liked his stupidity and simple-charm.

Men like attractive women. They look for physical specimens so perfect that people have no choice but to shockingly say, "why is she with him?" Yet men cheat. More times than not, the seductress does not possess the same high quality he so admires. It is as if he strives to find a flaw.

People like flaws. I am a perfect example. I am not the most attractive person. My dry sense of humor and unending cynicism can be sweltering, yet I've been able to have more than what I deserve in love. People see a broken tool to try and fix. They see the good parts - money, looks, brains (sorry...not trying to be an ego maniac). They also see the bad parts - emotionally crippled, sociopathic, narcissistic. Now, the first set of qualities is what you think a person looks for, but I believe it is the second set that not only intrigues people, but it actually attracts them to me. The saying, "if you play with fire, your gonna get burnt" comes to mind...

I love beautiful, unique looking people. I hate conformity. Vanilla is not my favorite flavor. I like strawberry lime, butterscotch pecan, chocolate fudge swirl rainbow sherbet all wrapped into one. I like all the bad qualities that make people so imperfect. I want them to be human like me. I want a puzzle. I want stimulation.

I'm starting to honestly tire a little of Barack Obama. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful we have an intelligent, articulate and driven president that sticks to his values (or at least it appears that way). I just want him to make a mistake. I want him to screw an intern and then smoke a cigar. I want him to lie or do something dumb. I want him to use incorrect grammar and make up ridiculous words. Humans are fun. Robots are boring. Sorry Mr. Obama, but please remember that people don't want perfection. If you want to really build a legacy for generations, do like Bill Clinton and make a mistake.

To all, may you shimmer in your own inadequacies. May they define you as much as your spirit. The Shadow can be as powerful as the Moral Self. Embrace it. Show others how horrifying you can be and they will love you even more than ever.

A letter from your secret admirer...

2009-11-16T05:09:00.000-08:00

I admire you, and so this is for you.

You may not be reliable. You may not be worth any of this. I don't know yet. I know that I am not reliable. I can tell you for certain that I am not worth any of it. Yet for some strange reason, I find that you cannot see it. That somehow this obvious reality eludes even you, with such a clever and cunning mind.

All I want to do is protect you from this world and all the dangers in it. Yet, perhaps I am the danger itself and the scarring that is risked by my presence is unknown to you. My love for you is dedicated to hoping the ugliness would somehow surpass you. I am torn. I see all that I am in you and maybe I am being selfish, because somehow, I want the good Evan to live on vicariously through you and leave the rest to my body.

You make me laugh. Those laughs are worth every second of internal confusion I suffer when you are not around. Chaos is synonymous with love to me. I wish it was not like this, but I need it. Love isn't love without the drama.

I may have to disappear to make this alright. I don't want to and with every day, I realize how selfish I am. I've never told you how I really felt, rather I hope you will just guess it and accept it. I want infinitely more time with you. Every conversation is cherished. Every moment is valued. Yet I find myself avoiding what I want most.

We are so different and you know this. But it intrigues you. You are curious if the hybrid of our personalities and values could somehow be combined to make something that is greater than the sum of all parts. I believe it can happen. I want it to be you. I've wanted that since the day I first laid eyes on you.

Only a little longer, and then the path will be clear. I just pray you don't get hurt in the process that is tormenting me daily.

Her

2009-06-26T00:12:00.001-07:00

Life is becoming harder and harder under this condition. The potential for love is right in front of me, but there is nothing I can do about the situation. I have to stand by. I can only hope that she knows and gives me the opportunity to show her.

My Values

2009-05-24T00:48:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about life...about how to live well and righteous. I don't have a connection to a religious affiliation, nor do I find any inspiration from my work. I've been a miserable failure at living with integrity. It is time to change. I've decided to list out what I believe to be important values to live by. The values are simple in theory, but to practice these on a daily basis is difficult.

Here they are:

- Treat others have you’d have them treat your loved ones
- Be patient.
- Be an eternal optimist.
- Be kind.
- Take others at face value.
- Live with empathy.
- Be decisive and confident in your decisions.
- Listen first. Speak after.
- Be honest with yourself and others.
- Inspire others.
- Live with discipline and restraint.
- Never stop learning.

Manila and Scum

2009-05-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

It was 3:30 in the afternoon and after arriving at Terminal 1 at the Manila International Airport, I was ready to return to my life in Singapore. I had landed only 30 minutes earlier from Boracay, where I had spent another magical weekend in this absolute gem of the world.

Chaos is everywhere in the Philippines, and the airports are no exception. Hundreds of people wait in the hot sun outside the terminal, saying goodbye to family members that are coming and going as OFWs (Overseas Foreign Workers). Lines are packed, security is a mess. People are everywhere.

As I stood in the security line, my thoughts were filled of the parties with friends in Boracay. The saturation of cultures and races in Boracay is beautiful, and I grinned as I also reminisced at the kindness of the workers at the hotel which I regularly stay.

A fat man stood in front of me in line and turned to speak. Before any words came out of his mouth, I already knew what this scum was going to say. It was common in the Philippines. Worthless and pathetic men, self-exiled from their own country, make routine trips to the Philippines to feast on the weak. This man was the epitome of everything in the world I hate.

He was easily 350 to 400 pounds, with greased blonde hair that did not cover most of his balding head. He lacked his four front upper teeth and the others were jagged and eroded. The man’s eyes were vacant; the kind of vacancy that is seen also in people that have severely abused drugs and alcohol and permanently ruined their brains.

“So, where are you coming from?” he asked.
“I was just in Boracay for the weekend,” I replied, attempting to be as polite as possible. I knew the path this conversation would lead to, but didn’t stop it in its infancy

“Why the hell would you go to Boracay?! What, to see fish? Who cares?! I don’t leave a 100 mile radius of Manila,” he emphatically stated, now eyes were on him from everywhere. He was clearly out of his mind.

After a few exchanges of the usual whats and whys, he decided to challenge the assumption that Singapore was a good place to live. And this, my friends is where murder should have happened.

Without provocation, he spilled out everything that I knew would be said. Once you live over here long enough, you can spot it a mile away. You can see it coming...

“Well, tell me if you can get this in Singapore. I want three girls in my bed, and the rest of the bitches groveling on the ground waiting for me.”

I’m now on the plane and remembering these words. They are echoing in my ears. The few Manilians working around him acted unaffected, likely desensitized to these types, who they regularly see flow through the airport.

My eyes well up as I think about this moment. They are not tears of fear or sadness though. They are of rage, frustration, and anger. I should have swung. Stood up. Done something. Instead, I ignored the comment to not further aggravate an obviously stupid person. I’m sure no one would have minded this man being beaten after seeing and hearing him. My anger spills into thoughts of fanatical grandeur with one desire...to murder...to eradicate these people. To have them beg for their pathetic lives.

Christian philosophy believes we must not judge each other and sins should be forgiven. I am not a Christian. Judgment should take place on Earth from the righteous to the unrighteous. God should not love them. There should be no salvation. Torture, murder, revenge, and above all, justice should be brought to these people.

The only true way to solve this is to remove the poverty. I’m not stupid and I know that. Education. Food. Economic development. The reality is that poverty and its many manifestations create opportunities for these types. It’s the weakest of the weak that lose to the most disgusting of people.

People move to Africa. They build water supplies and whatever else to help a small number of people in a major way. As Mother Teresa once said,

“What we are trying to do may be just a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

So, it’s time to practice the opposite. It’s time for us to take drops out of the ocean. Only in this case, it’s the ones that pollute it. Dark days are coming for this particular scum of Earth. Justice is coming...

The Mathematics Behind "The One"

2008-10-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's 11pm on a Friday night. I'm such a loser tonight that I have forgone the opportunity to hit the bars and clubs in order to sit here and write. Yes, I'm working on a couple of muscle relaxants. Yes, I have had 5-6 Whiskey-Cokes, but what the hell...TGIF, right?

So I had this random thought a few weeks ago and thought I should record it before it is like most of my thoughts these days...gone. I was thinking about the idea of "the one". Ya know, it's that one proverbial person that everyone thinks exists for him/her. I thought I'd provide some logic and analytical thought to the chances that we can actually meet someone like this. I mean, we meet people all the time, right? So why, is it so damn difficult to find people we click with? Well, here goes...

Let's start with the basic principle of probability. First, we assume that a person must have more than one trait we like in order to get in the pool of potentials. For example...

Good catch = Intelligent (x1) * funny (x2) * good looking (x3) * "n"

We agree that a person should have at least these three characteristics. For me, there are exactly 12 characteristics describing the perfect woman (listed another time), but everyone has a different number. The principle here is that there is a measurable probability that a person will have these traits. These probabilities change from person to person. For example, I may say that only 20% of people are attractive, whereas the person next to me may claim that 60% of people are attractive. This would be because I prefer to chase only 8's, while this person is content with 4's. Furthermore, we all have different expectations for intelligence. If I am to say that a Graduate degree is a good reflection of intelligence (perhaps it isn't), then some people may only select people with a Master's degree. This wholly constitutes less than 5% of the population. Another person may say a high school education is not even necessary, opening up the field of his/her choice to most of the general population.

Now for the mathematics. How hard is it to find a person that fits the most basic criteria you expect? See the equation below and the provided assumptions.

Assumptions:

3 out of 10 people are attractive (assuming you like 7's, 8's, 9's, or 10's)
3 out of 10 people have high intelligence (5 is average)
4 out of 10 people are funny (this assumes the same sense of humor as you)

So the equation for just three variables looks like this...

0.3(attractive) X 0.3(intelligence) X 0.4(humor) = 0.036 or 3.6%

Using this basic equation, the chance of you meeting a person that is even in the field of possibilities is only 3.6%. If you add to it other facts such as religious preference, values, and common interests, your chances of meeting "the one" drop to well below 1%. Guaranteed.

It is also true that the ratios for each of these variables may chance depending on your environment. For example, in a Nightclub, the probability of attractiveness may go up to 8 of 10 people, but then the intelligence and humor may decrease. In this case, the equation looks like this:

0.8 (attractive) X 0.2 (intelligence) X 0.1 (humor) = 0.016 or 1.6%

Net-net, you are probably better off finding someone average in all the important measures, instead of choosing one variable as most important and dramatically sacrificing others...i.e., go for 7's with good personalities.

The other option is to lower your expectations altogether. Be less selective. Don't be picky. When this is done, the probability goes up more dramatically than other ways.

0.8 X 0.8 X 0.8 = 0.512 or 51.2%

Now you have over a 50% chance! Of course, your standards have been significantly marginalized. This is what makes it feasible for most of the general population to easily marry and reproduce...they simply have a larger pool of possibilities than those who are selective.

There is one major variable that has not been discussed to this point--the idea that the person has to like you! All the above calculations are about assessing the pool of possibilities, but when you consider the fact that many people will not reciprocate your interest, probability can drop to deadly levels. For example, you may like attractive, intelligent, funny people, but if you are a smelly, fat, a$$hole, the likelihood that the person will reciprocate interest is very low. In this case, your probability drops to a small decimal, almost zero. Advice--lower standards to low levels.

The point of all of this is that simple probability theory proves that meeting the "one" is difficult. However, there is good news. Even under the worst conditions, you still have a lot of chances. If your chances are 1%, then technically there are 60 Million people in the world of 6 Billion that qualify, so be optimistic! It might take a while to search the world over, but at least you know what your chances are.

I honestly don't know how to break down this in any other way. I invite anyone who reads this to come up with another theory that is perhaps more optimistic about our chances to find someone we want to procreate with. :)

The Rules of Attraction

2008-10-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

The Rules of Attraction

The Rules of Attraction

I have never understood why human beings have to be so alone. There are so many people on this planet, and we all know several people who complain because they can't find someone special. So many are lonely, so many are looking, searching for the person that will fulfill all of their dreams. I have come to the conclusion that the following rules apply to attraction, which are inhibitors of our finding that "one."

The first rule of attraction is that the person you always want never wants you. You can have all the talents and abilities in the world-wit, intelligence, beauty, ambition, sincerity, you name it. And none of this means anything in the end if a person just doesn't want you. We all try to improve ourselves...look better, be thinner, dress better, or even act smarter, but none of this matters in the end. We (humans) are beings of imperfection (which I'll cover in another blog), and even if we could create our "perfect selves," we'd probably still be far from someone else's idea of perfection. Thus, improving yourself and/or acting fictitiously only serves to elongate the suffering we will feel when we are essentially rejected by the person we are trying so hard to impress. The best we can do is hope that a compatible person comes along with whom we find some miraculous connection. That, to me, is where the saying "the one" comes from. It is by some alignment of stars in the sky that someone actually wants you as much as you want them.

The second rule of attraction runs along the same lines. YOU never want the person that wants you. I was once told that I should marry someone who I love more than they love me, because being on the other end can spell destruction when you feel you aren't getting what you want. I'm sure we all have at some point rejected someone who really liked us, or just avoided them, hoping that they'd eventually go away if we don't communicate regularly with them. And, I'd guess that some have at some point tried to make a relationship with someone they didn't really like. Remember that feeling...hoping something would spark but it never did. Let's face it, we can't CONVINCE ourselves to like someone...it's not possible. Try it, keep trying...continue to hope you can bring yourself to believe it is possible and that eventually, you'll grow to love the person. The only thing we really do to those we do this to is eventually hurt them worse than if we never started in the first place.

The third rule of attraction is that most people take each other for granted at some point. Once the honeymoon is over, people start to forget what they have. How many eyes start to wonder, while the brain cranks away at the "I could do better than her/him thoughts?" We are unfortunately victims of our own illusions. The grass always appears to be greener on the other side, but unfortunately most of us come to realize too late that it isn't. Taking someone for granted is something we all do...we can have high aspirations to not, but in the end, it is unavoidable. The key is to build the relationship so strong that you persevere. It also helps to watch your miserable single friends moan and groan about how lonely they are and how lucky you are. Friends also remind us how lucky we are when we have someone. Needless to say, little gold bands around one's third finger is the best way to make sure your relationship lasts regardless of taking someone for granted...scratch that, it works about 50% of the time in our country.

The fourth rule of attraction is that no matter how hard we try to say, "this is the last time" or "I give up" or "I'm done with women/men," we will NEVER stop trying. Humans are designed to love...our souls are designed to search until we find the piece (person) that completes us. I know I try to stop. I get so hurt that often I want to stop altogether and live some maniac lifestyle free of commitment and desires to have a relationship. But, I can't stop. I'm not built that way. I keep trying to find someone. The human spirit is powered by hope, and it is something we can't run from. A person that doesn't go after love with a full heart can never truly expect to ever have it.

The fifth rule of attraction is that people want what they can't have (i.e. fantasy). It seems as though men become more attractive to females when they are either a)in a relationship or b)married. The rest of us single guys are "up the creek without a paddle" when we are compared to these sensitive, yet unavailable, men. Women become more desirable to men as they gain popularity with other men. Most men have dreams of dating someone who everyone wants...they want the hottest woman in the room. Often, men are fooled by their own thoughts of grandeur, as they are nowhere near the same class (or breed) as these women. Anyone seen Shallow Hal?

The sixth and final rule of attraction is that we cannot choose who we are attracted to. Have you ever seen someone your friends say is hot and you are like, "eh, I think I'll pass?" Have you ever been entralled by someone who your friends think is ugly? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...don't ever let anyone tell you different. If you fall in love with a 400lb women or a man covered head-to-toe with hair, don't ask them to lose weight or have their back waxed. You are attracted to them, and you are stuck with them no matter what.Happiness is an illusion that is completely individual. Essentially, you make YOURSELF happy. Yes, people can facilitate or inhibit this feeling, but it is largely you that decides when you will be happy. So, if someone comes along that makes you happy, go for it, and f*ck what everyone else says.

I did not write this to elicit feedback on my high/low IQ (depending on how you look at it), poor grammar, or trashy writing style. I do however, accept all positive and negative remarks and opinions relating to this article.

Best regards,

Evan Michael Williams

Growing Up Middle Class

2008-02-27T06:46:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how a person’s environmental and the contextual cues within it make a person hypersensitive to elements of self. Never before have I had such acute awareness of my upbringing—specifically, the fact that I’m middle class, as I do now.

For those of you that just met me recently, I’ll tell you the quick and dirty story of my upbringing. I was raised in a small (1600 people) farmtown in the middle of nowhere (Minnesota). My father was a lawyer, but not the stereotypical one that has gobs of money everywhere. My stepmother, for most of formative years, managed a group home for mentally disabled adults. My mother, who moved to Minneapolis after the divorce, spent years as a secretary, and now works in a job that is a hybrid of IT and Finance—basically, an office job. Simply put, my family is as middle class as they come. I was never afforded the luxury of brand-name clothes as a teenager, nor did I have to shop at the Salvation Army. I didn’t have a car of my own until I went to college, and then, it was a 1989 Pontiac Grand Am…very average indeed.

My friends are not all that dissimilar. Their parents are farmers, truckers, office workers, store clerks, and many other jobs that make up the heart of America. They are the middle class.

Many of my friends, like me, always had to have jobs. In some cases, bad jobs. Mike Taus even butchered chickens as a teenager! My first job was cleaning guts off of meat saws in the back of a grocery store. Others were not as lucky, and grew up in the middle of dangerous communities plagued with violence and drugs.

Most of my friends, and their parents, work harder than most wealthy execs. More importantly, they struggle more than these same execs. And while this should be entirely admirable, I do not find it to always be so in my mind.

In my time in Singapore, I have become increasingly aware of my upbringing, and frankly, I have an issue with it. In fact, if I were to dig as deep as I can into my own sub-conscious, I’d argue that much of the animosity I’ve felt toward my parents came not from the problems and struggles we had as a family, but rather, from a loathing that they were responsible for starting me out in life where they did. There is no way to apologize for this, but recognition can sometimes be just as relieving.

Apparently, it has always bothered me, but only now do I realize just how much. You see, in Singapore, many people I’ve seen have millions and millions, often inherited wealth. Easy lives with everything given to them, and yet, despite not having to work as hard, they are still ahead of most. The disparity of income is obvious in Asia, and living without envy can be challenging, especially when you perceive it as undeserved or unearned.

Should this bother me? Does it really matter how much money you have? Well, we all want to take the moral high-ground and say, “no”, but do we really believe this? I never claim to say it doesn’t matter. MONEY MATTERS. For me, it is not about the money per se, but what it represents. Becoming rich by earning it can be…validating. It represents knowing that just because you may not start out life with all the advantages afforded to others, you can still get it.

And that, my friends, is one of my purist motivations—to be filthy rich. At some point in life, I want to sit back, throw another million on the fire, and say to myself, “Just because you start middle class, doesn’t mean you always will be.”

I once heard that the reason Oprah never married Stedman is because his family would never accept her. You see, Stedman is blue-blood and Oprah had to scratch and claw her way to the top. And though she is now the richest woman in the world, she still cannot overcome the stereotype placed on her. Is this true? Maybe not, but it does serve as an example of a reality for many people.

Perhaps I will never believe I can be anything more than my roots tell me. However, my kids…they can be whatever I create. Note one more thing. Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart, had several kids and subsequently, grandkids. I went to grad school with a girl that new one of the Walton granddaughters. Apparently, she was a spoiled b*tch that felt entitled to the wealth she never earned. I guess we have to be careful what we create after all... :)

2007: Growing, Evolving, Balding

2008-01-01T23:11:00.000-08:00

Looking Back on 2007

This year has been such a monumental one in my life. It is has been one of those years where I felt like I have lived perhaps more than ever. I have grown. I have evolved. I have stretched myself. In addition, I have seen events come to fruition this year that have since childhood only been thoughts of “when I grow up…”

Most people that know me would hypothesize that the most significant happening in my life this year was my move to Singapore. True, this was quite a change and one that will forever change me, but it was not the most important part of my life.

It was Tu-Anh. For me, it feels like I have known her forever, but the fact is that we only started dating in November of 2006. I guess that is love. Most of our relationship developed over the course of 2007, and it was in an awesome way. TAB taught me more about love, relationships, and the man I could be than anyone. She was the single biggest driver of my life this year, and the one that truly set me on a course to live my dream. Despite the loss of being together on a daily/weekly basis, she always encouraged me to do what I felt was right. She was never selfish about my choice to live on the other side of the world, and that has changed my perspective on love forever.

As I think about those “when I grow up” moments, I’m really just alluding to the marriages of Joe/Laura and Solomon/Christen. I’ve known Joe since we were children, and the idea that one day he would be married was foreseeable, but I’m always amazed by the actualization of such ideas that float through our minds as children. I’m so happy to see this event. I also have known Solomon since college. I still remember the first year of college…a naïve young gentleman with ambition and over-eagerness. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure if I am self-reflecting or talking about Solomon. In a way, we have shared these characteristics. Now, almost 10 years later, Solomon is a grown, mature individual who has taken on the responsibility of a wife.

In the Fall of 2007, right before I left, my grandmother Sheree passed away. Many people reading this may not be aware, but Sheree had a special relationship with everyone in our family…a true matriarch. She was also the most important person in my grandfather’s life. I idolize my grandfather more than anyone, and to see him in pain had a dramatic effect on me. I saw perhaps one of the strongest people I know break down. And that hurt more than anything. As with anything else in life, we find a way to move on, and though she will always be missed, she will never be forgotten. The chilling reality is someone is strong forever…even a rock can fissure.

And finally, there is Singapore. The choice I have made to come here could not have been a better decision. From a career standpoint, I have set myself up for great things, but the decision extends so much beyond that. My perspective on the world, the US, and the interconnectedness of all of us is forefront in my thoughts now. In addition, the almost complete elimination of US media from my life has actually had a positive impact of my mood. No more worries about war, or crime, or drugs. No more North Minneapolis either, which I both love and hate. Perhaps I am oversensitive to these social ills, but they influence and impact your thoughts when you live there, whether you know it or not.

Of course, the year could not have been completed without something outrageous. On December 17th, I broke a bone for the first time in my life...my fifth metatarsal (my foot) and had surgery. Surgery in a foreign country was quite the experience. I took a cab to the hospital, had surgery, laid in a bed two days, checked myself out, and took a cab home. I saw no one for three days. I HAD DISAPPEARED. The nurses looked at my oddly as I explained my insistance that no one from my office, nor my friends, come visit me. Perhaps a bit of narcissism here, but I find true strength in dealing with complete isolation.

As I look back, I realize that all the most important memories of the year all evolve around relationships. This certainly holds true year after year, yet the people and relationships change. It is at the core of my belief that nothing can be forever, so it is crucial that we are completely aware of every moment…that the moments we share are to be cherished, because eventually they will end.

Best wishes, happy holidays and have a great 2008!

Life on the Road Part II: China

2007-12-01T04:13:00.001-08:00

The sleeping giant. China. This is my first time to China, and the experience has been so overwhelming that I'm not sure it will all process through my mind for weeks. From work to lifestyle and everything in between, the culture of China is one that is a combination of traditional culture mixed with an insatiable drive to modernize and follow the Western way.

The most amazing elements of China to me are:
1) The pollution
2) The kindness of people
3) The work ethic of adults (and kids)
4) The lack of law for branding, copyright, etc.

One of the most obvious differences of China from anywhere in the Western Hemisphere or Europe is the written language. Whereas in many countries you can guess some of the words on the signs due to the commonality of Latin languages, it is completely different here. Chinese characters leave no hint as to the meaning of words on signs, stores, or documents. Since most Chinese do not speak English, asking for help is out of the question. I felt a sense of isolation that I have never felt while traveling anywhere else in the world.

However, this is not to say the people are rude. In fact, when they are able, they are some of the most helpful people I've ever encountered. In fact, being polite is so engrained into their culture that they actually will laugh at your jokes just to make you happy. What an ego trip!

The pollution in Beijing is also quite unbelievable. On a cold, winter day such as this week, the air is so thick with smog that at times I felt uncomfortable even breathing. The cause of this pollution is primarily automobiles and lack of government control. This problem has permeated the city in other ways as well, as the traffic is somewhat unbearable. Moving 5 miles can take as long as 45 minutes!

I had the opportunity on my first day here to visit some consumers' homes. As part of my orientation to the Chinese business, I accompanied a co-worker to two people's home to talk about cookies. Now imagine this...For work, Evan is in an average Chinese consumer's home asking them about Oreo cookies! Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought this would someday be my life! The amazing part of visiting with these consumers was their comments about their children. Most Chinese families only have one child...in fact, everyone I worked with here was an only child. The children are nurtured well and protected, but they are also pushed very hard. Both moms we talked to said their child was expected to do 2-3 hours of homework after school...and they were 9 and 12 years old! Why, do you ask? The rationale was that the children needed to work hard to be successful. Obvious, but the undertone of the culture here is a competitive one, with dreams of one day being a truly global contributor on par with Americans and other Westerners.

I saw a lot of cool things here as well. I had my fellow co-workers guide me around the city, and I took in the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, the 2008 Olympic Site, and the CCTV site (you'd have to see the building to understand). I also had the best Roast Duck I've ever tasted and ate a lot of traditional Chinese dishes.

The work culture of China is also very different from other places because it is developing. I interacted with people that had been doing marketing and CI for years, but still looked to me for direction. It's amazing the contribution that one can offer here, and it's equally amazing how willing they are to accept the help.

All and all, this may be the third best place I've ever visited, and the cool thing I get to come back in a couple of months!

"Life on the Road"

2007-12-01T03:49:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has been over a month (almost two) since my last blog. I don't even know where to start with my writing, but I suppose I'll talk about what I've been doing most over the past month...traveling.

I can't imagine traveling around the world in better style than what Kraft has given me. I fly business class all over, stay in 5-star hotels, and have most of my expenses paid for. Singapore Airlines is like nothing I could have ever imagined from an airline. The food is unbelievable and the last two jets I've taken have provided business seats that actually recline to a bed. Free booze (although I rarely drink on planes) and the most attentive flight attendants ever make the experience a true pleasure.

I was in Australia three weeks ago for work, and though it's somewhat different from the US, the contrast is so minimal relative to what I've seen in other parts of Asia that it felt a bit like home. English is the primary, if only, language, and the weather was reminiscent of Minnesota spring. Beyond that, everything is modernized, a reality that I have found to be a rarity in my recent travels.

The work style of Australia is one that could be envied by anyone. Pretty standard hours and an emphasis on work/life balance means everyone is out of the office by 6pm. This is a stark contrast from China, where the people work very hard. During my week here (I am blogging this from a hotel in Beijing), I have been at the office until after 8pm and had a long presentation to lead at 7:30am on Thursday. Back to Australia though...

The most notable elements of Melbourne were a) their love for sports and b) their love for sports. I turned on the TV in the hotel to see about two channels of news, one of sitcoms and 30 of sports, primarily Cricket, Australian football, rugby, and soccer. I even watched basketball, although it wasn't very good. I actually became somewhat addicted to watching cricket...seems like a very interesting sport and one that was an obvious precursor to baseball.

On the weekend, I went to a bar/club called F4 with some work colleagues...I drank too much and stumbled slowly back to my hotel. The next day, I did what many Aussies do...walked by the river, jogged on the beach, had a nice Italian meal on St. Kilda's beach, and shopped down the Central Business District. I also toured their MCG Stadium, the biggest stadium in Melbourne (holds ~100,000 people). The one thing that sucked were all the flies. At first, I thought it was just me smelling like sh*t, but after observing the flapping of arms from others, I realized it was a city-wide problem. Usually I wouldn't complain about something like this, but it was so annoying that it actually got me pretty worked up.

Overall, I was not completely amazed by Australia, although it seems like a nice place. The city of Melbourne is roughly that of Minneapolis and the culture is typical-Australian laid back. It's not a place I'd spend a long vacation, but perhaps would be a suitable place to live.
Back to Singapore for a week, where I rocked out with my friends...more on that in another blog. Then to China...

"Lost in my Head"

2007-10-29T05:07:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking a lot about people since I've been here. People I've known, people I've care for...people that have shared major times in my life.

And it's amazing to me how quickly people move on. Not because of mean spirits or disdain, but rather, because I think we are built to eliminate people from our lives much like closing chapters in a book. As I write this, I wonder how people will feel...Unsettled? Antagonized? Agreeable?

I know that I will not be here a long time, and I will soon become a fading memory to most. It has been a concept that I am still trying to understand how one internalizes. It is a humbling feeling to know, absolutely know, how finite and small you are in the grand scheme of the world. If I am not remembered while alive...if my existence on this planet is that insignificant, then how fast will I disappear when I am completely gone?

The reality is that none of us will be remembered very long...maybe 100 years if we are very lucky. Instead of a legacy, the only thing that truly matters is what you do today...for yourself. I must grow, I must learn, I must undertand my world, I must appreciate it...I must appreciate every single second I have...cherish it, because soon, it will all be over. My fear is not that I will be forgotten. It's that there will be nothing to forget.

I don't cry enough these days. I don't get giddy about much. I am happy, but sometimes I wonder if this lack of range in emotion, this level of vanilla, is helpful. Because without sorrow, there cannot be joy. Without pain, there cannot be pleasure. I do not want to forget sorrow or pain, because I fear that my gluttony will overwhelm me and I will forget how to feel sympathy. To be removed from pain is to disconnect yourself from those who are in it...and the human experience requires empathy for others. I do not want to lose touch with the human experience, but I often feel I am losing my grip on it.

There is no crime here...there is no violence...there is no poverty...there is no visible racism...I am learning to cope with what is as close to a utopic society as humans perhaps will ever devise. The only problem now is I'm not sure utopia can exist in any form...we need the horrors to enjoy the harmony.

"Transformations"

2007-10-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 12 days since my last blog, and I feel almost guilty by my procrastination in getting back to everyone. It's amazing how many people from the States I think about every single day. It's as if I catch a glimpse of someone and have a whole conversation in my head again with that person...or I relive a memory...maybe I even make a new one...

My life here in Singapore has been an unimaginable one. From the food I eat, to the bus I take to work, to the people I've met, it is still hard for me to believe everything in this transition could be so easy. I remember before I left, I told many people that I was following something big that resided deep in my soul. I "followed the signs" assuming that some sort of higher power was directing me here and would reward me when I arrived. Well, I don't know what reward I was expecting, but knowing that there is a huge grin on my face is probably the best I could ever do. Life is meant to be this simple. It is a level of contentment I have always lusted for. Perhaps I will die soon, but if so, my life will not have been in waste.

Since I've been here, I've done many things: A fashion show, a Black Eyed Peas concert, joined a basketball league, saw a live Asian band cover Linkin Park, and, oh well, visited Krabi, the Thai beach community where the movie "The Beach" was filmed. Also hit up many of the night spots here, including "Clark Quay", which is very cool. (Look it up).

I met up with a guy from Warren, of all places, and he introduced me to his buddies. Strange, but they are all 28 years old (like me), single, and feverishly obsessed with the movie "American Pyscho." In fact, they can quote almost every line in the movie, which I though only I could do. They were the ones that invited me to Thailand. They told me I'm never going back to the States. They've been here each for 2-3 years already.

I also secured my new apartment, which I will move into in November. I live on the 9th floor of a condo overlooking the beach. Two full gyms, basketball, tennis, a huge pool, a bar, and several delicious seafood places within walking distance. I plan to buy another scooter soon so I can cruise up and down the beach after work to unwind.

Life is good here. I do miss people, and I'm sure it will get worse. More to come on that soon.

“Crossing Into a New Life”

2007-10-17T03:29:00.000-07:00

I left last night at 9pm for a new adventure. It was surreal in many regards, from the fact that I sat a row away from Deuce Bigalow (Rob Sneider) on my way to L.A., to the mad sprint through the Taipei airport, only to see that they actually held the plane doors open an extra five minutes for me.

The trip so far has been one hoop to jump through after another. It started with checked baggage issues in Minneapolis. After convincing them not to charge me $150 for a third bag, I was in the plane and on my way. I looked out the jet’s window at what was…years of fun in Minneapolis! Hundreds of parties, quiet movie nights, basketball games, and “guys’ nights out” have brought me to this. The realism that I was off to live across the world hit me with an overwhelming sense of awe.

As I deboarded the plane, I found myself walking next to none other than Rob Sneider. I thought about doing a cheesy impression of a Middle-Eastern pizza delivery guy, but then, I figured I shouldn’t be "that guy" to this disgruntled-looking comedian.

1:15am and I was still sitting at the terminal in LA waiting to get on my China Airline flight over to Taipei. First class on an Asian airline is actually quite unbelievable. The flight attendants cater to your every need, and the food is actually really good! Safely abroad, I proceeded to crash out for 8 hours, watch the new Die Hard for a couple more, and finally, I figured out that there was actually SuperNintendo games on the TV monitor. I tore up StreetFighter II, but I never actually was able to beat the last guy (what’s his name?).

6:40am and I land in Taipei. My flight to Singapore leaves at 7:10am. I need to de-board, get my ticket, and get to the gate…I didn’t, but luckily, someone from Singapore Air found me and raced me, literally running, through the Terminal. I don’t remember what the airport looks like, but they held the gate until 7:15am. Now aboard the plane, it is the most amazing plane I have ever been on. Everything people told me about Singapore seem to be true at this point. The plane is elegant and modern, with all leather seats, on-plane electric outlets, and attendant service that cannot even be described it’s so good.

Only one problem…I don’t know if my luggage raced to the cargo for this plane. I guess I’ll find out when I land!

...and here I am...the luggage didn't make it initially. For my troubles, they gave me S$150 at the airport and said they'd deliver my luggage when they found it. Four hours later, it arrived at my apartment door. Now isn't that irony...they wanted to charge me $150, didn't do it, and ended up GIVING me $150 and door-delivery service! Ha, that's amazing!

More to come...

Evan

Evan

“The Value of Friendship”

2007-10-17T03:25:00.000-07:00

I am currently sitting on a plane en route to Singapore via Taipei, Taiwan, and I felt it necessary to right a blog to my friends. More specifically, the value I place in the friendships that I have had the great fortune of forging in my life. It is impossible to think that any of my actions and/or decisions have been made in isolation of these people.

I want to thank all of my friends for being such a great source of inspiration in my life. Each person I have known has played an instrumental role in where I am. Certainly many, if not everyone, cherishes their closest friendships, so it is not as if I am reinventing the wheel. However, I do believe what I have in my relationships is beyond the norm.

In a state that isn’t the center of the universe for diversity (MN is 90% white, primarily Christian!), I have been fortunate enough to have friends from any walk of life, albeit race, religion, culture, or way of life. All of you have added invaluable perspectives and opinions, sometimes without even knowing what type of influence you have on me. I have learned about all of you and have related to you in a way that has helped me understand and evolve my own personal beliefs and perspectives.

Unfortunately, not all friendships last forever, at least not in their most intense state. Friendships are often transitional in nature. For example, think about all of those great friends you had in college that you swore you’d be “BFF’s” with. How many of them do you still talk to you daily/weekly? How many of them are loose contacts that you now speak with occasionally/monthly/yearly? It is true that most friendships tend to dissipate over time, but that isn’t to say that they haven’t provided meaning. Every person we meet and friendship we forge provides meaning to help us continually evolve and move through our life’s path. We never know when the lesson we have learned from someone will bear its fruits, but at some point, the truth will become clear to us.

Yes, I have now left Minneapolis. Yes, it is likely that I will not see many of you for years, perhaps ever again. I would be lying if I said I was sad about this, because I am not. Our paths crossed for a reason, and I feel great joy in knowing that. And if it is meant to be, we will certainly cross paths again.

I would not be what I am if not for all of you. ALL OF YOU. I want to say thank you. Thank you for all the influence you have had…for the lessons you have taught me…for helping me understand my path further.

Best regards to all-

Evan

"The First Day of My New Job"

2007-10-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day at Kraft. A week of orientation in Chicago before I make the big leap to my new place of residence in Singapore. I can't say I was completely surpised by the melodramatic feeling I had as I entered the building. The feeling was one of solemn existence, an unassuming culture without pretense or pride. The company has fallen on hard times recently and has struggled to meet earnings over its short corporate lifespan. I say "short" because it was the year 2001 when incorporation actually commenced for the company that had long been a wholly owned subsidiary of a big cigarette company called Altria (aka Philip Morris). The price then: $34. The price now: $34.

I was not surprised on my first day to arrive to a place where I had been all but forgotten. The admin tasked with collecting me from the front entrance didn't show up and pawned me off to someone else because he forgot. There was no workstation prepared for me. It was as uneventful an entrance as my exit from my previous employer. It was a stark reminder of the profession I have chosen...a corporate shell is never a place to seek love, friendship, or for that matter, a smile. Anything more than focusing energy on improving the bottom line is futile and unnecessary.

I finally got set up with my computer and desk, but no formal orientation or introduction to the company. Total # of HR reps I saw today -- ZERO. There is very little personal conversation at Kraft. People tend to stay in their cubes. There are more closed doors than I remember at Mills. There is an air of focus that I can appreciate, as it is the aftermath of the liberation of this sleeping giant from an organization whose sole existence depended on the deaths of millions of ignorant people.

I can only say that today solidified the reality that the challenges are immeasurable. This will truly be a test of my inner strength and personal perseverence. However, there is nothing in this world that is more powerful than a person's vigor to follow a dream. And in terms of my job, I KNOW, absolutely KNOW, that the stock price of Kraft when I leave the company will be much higher than $34.

Courage. Candor. Action.